"Family Guy" fans are sure to be flocking to movie theatres all over the country this weekend thanks to the release of "Ted," the directorial debut of Seth MacFarlane, the show's creator and primary voice actor. To celebrate its release, ThisBlogRules is taking a look back at the greatest cutaway gags from "Family Guy"'s illustrious 13-year history, and there's certainly no shortage of clips to pick from: each 22-minute episode contains on average seven or eight cutaway gags, the vast majority of which have absolutely nothing to do with any given episode's plot.
Note: I think you'll be relieved to know that Mr. Conway Twitty is not featured below. God, he's even more annoying than that time…
10. Fire Trucks
Episode: "Petarded” – Season 4, Episode 6
Setup: The Griffins are playing Trivial Pursuit with the neighbours and, as Lois is asking him the pre-school questions, Peter is asked to name the colour of a fire truck. After much deliberation, he answers correctly. "Good thing I just watched that National Geographic special on fire trucks," he says.
9. It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy
Episode: "Chick Cancer" – Season 5, Episode 7
Setup: After his romantic advances are turned down by local child star Olivia, Stewie theorises that women respond better when treated badly. So, Stewie knocks on Olivia's door and does exactly that, and it works. "She said yes!" he exclaims. "My God, I'm cooler than that cheetah from the commercials."
8. Commander Worf's Head
Episode: "Peter's Got Woods" – Season 4, Episode 11
Setup: Peter returns home from the Drunken Clam with Brian to find new best friend James Woods utterly furious that Peter forgot their dinner date together. "Boy, I haven't been this creeped out since I saw that episode of Star Trek," says Peter.
7. London Gentleman's Club
Episode: "Jerome is the New Black" – Season 8, Episode 7
Setup: With Cleveland now absent from their lives, Peter, Quagmire and Joe brainstorm on how to fill the gap in the gang. Peter suggests that they find a new African American friend. "Peter's right, we gotta find another black guy," says Quagmire. "Yeah, 'cos otherwise we're just a bunch of boring white guys," replies Peter. "Like a London Gentleman's Club."
6. Peter Outfarts Michael Moore
Episode: "Perfect Castaway" – Season 4, Episode 12
Setup: Now a fisherman, Peter tells Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe in the Drunken Clam that he needs to find some fish soon otherwise his family is going to go hungry. Overhearing, Seamus cautiously suggests that Peter fish at the dreaded Pelican's Reef. "Pelican's Reef, huh?" asks Peter. "Then that's where I'll go. 'Cos I'm not afraid of a challenge. Like that time I outfarted Michael Moore."
5. Peter as a Wonder Twin
Episode: "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High" – Season 4, Episode 2
Setup: Chris is mistakenly accused by his family of murdering his teacher's husband, Mr. Lockhart. Taken aback, Chris denies having any part in Mr. Lockhart's death. "Oh come on, Chris," says Peter. "Everybody's done something they're not proud of. Like when I used to be a Wonder Twin."
4. Bush Hiding in the Tree House
Episode: "The Fat Guy Strangler" – Season 4, Episode 16
Setup: Lois and Brian discover that Lois' brother is wanted murderer the Fat Guy Strangler, and that Peter is with him. "How are we gonna find them?" asks Lois. "Don't worry, Lois," Brian replies. "I'm good at finding people. I was the one who found Bush after Hurricane Katrina."
3. The Cookie Monster in Rehab
Episode: "Model Misbehavior" – Season 4, Episode 10
Setup: After being loaned money by Stewie for worming tablets, Brian becomes Stewie's personal assistant when Stewie starts up a pyramid scheme business. One day, Brian is called to Stewie's office and is told to send Lois a congratulatory basket. Stewie adds: "Oh, and if Cookie Monster calls, tell him I am not talking to him until he gets out of rehab."
2. Stewie Follows a Fat Guy with a Tuba
Episode: "No Chris Left Behind" – Season 5, Episode 16
Setup: In order to pay for Chris' tuition fees for the upper-class Morningwood Academy, the Griffin family all take up extra jobs. Peter sells butt-scratchers at the ballpark, Lois and Meg both become prostitutes and Stewie gets a job following fat people around the park while playing a tuba.
1. Peter Narrates His Own Life
Episode: "Peter Griffin: Husband, Father…Brother?" – Season 3, Episode 14
Set Up: While driving the family home, Peter is shocked to hear Chris talking "street," even going so far as to shower him with holy water. "Peter, it's just a phase," explains Lois. "You've gone through a few yourself, y'know." "Yeah, like those two weeks you spent narrating your own life," says Brian to Peter.
